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What is reality? Go to your nearest 'hard reputed' club or bar on a Friday or Saturday night and simply observe the behavior, the initiation, the escalation and the treacherous development of a few fights. See if any of the participants "spar", stand at 4 or 5 feet away from each other first and square off. Check it out and compare it to the training that you do.

You'll notice several things. You'll notice that while someone is being grabbed with feral anger, he is also being severely verbally aggressed. You'll probably also notice that one or two or even more of his friends are standing behind him screaming and yelling for him to kill you. You'll probably also notice that you are instinctively grabbing him back trying to maintain your space and that the words coming out of your mouth are for the most part, not exactly defusing the situation...

Is this how you trained the two arm lapel grab last time in class? Or was it just you and your class partner while he grabbed you in a 2 arm lapel grab with some degree of force but simply stood there waiting for you to execute your technique?

What about other attacks? Which ones do you spend more time on training?

How much time is devoted to defending against the jab, the Thai kick, the technical clinch, the side kick, the perfectly executed hook punch, the arm bar, the wrist lock?

How much time is devoted to defending against a sucker punch in the middle of a verbal confrontation, a hard tackle off of a verbal assault, a knife coming out while struggling in the clinch. How are you dressed while doing this? A gi? Thai shorts? Tank top? Bare feet maybe? What about winter boots? A 3 quarter jacket? Jeans? Heals? Suit and tie? 30 pound schoolbag on your back?

If you isolate an attack without incorporating realistic levels of physical and verbal aggression in order to trigger the emotional inertia, when faced with a real attack outside the dojo, ring, mats whatever... the student will more often than not experience 'freezing' from lack of suffice information. The mind will have no comparable experience making it almost impossible for them to respond effectively. Why? Because the brain will revert back to the training but the training never dealt with this unfortunately "new information". No one in class ever nearly put me through a wall while grabbing me like that and calling my mother a filthy #!$% licking whore?!?!

How much time does your system devote to avoiding and defusing a potential threat with proper tools based on research, experience and statistics? It's not enough to simply tell someone you don't want any trouble. It's not enough telling someone you don't want to fight. This is NOT defusing a fight at all. On the contrary, the majority of what is being taught as verbal defusing in most schools today will actually escalate the situation. When was the last time you actually verbally de-escalated the scenario you were in where it didn't go physical and your partner who was the intended attacker turned around and said "Damn man, I didn't know what else to say, you got me."

What about the physical aspect? Well, what about it? Like I mentioned earlier, we are already hard wired with a survival mechanism, Mother Nature took care of that. If your physical arsenal consists of tools or techniques that require fine and complex motor skills, then the chances of them working are minimal, argue all you want, it has been scientifically proven time and time again. So your physical arsenal should enhance what nature already gave you as opposed to negate it through stylistic interference (your body’s desire to perform a move that directly negates the already bypassed cognitive brain by the mid brain due to the adrenal stress and fight or flight response).